I don’t need you to point out to me that this isn’t exactly timely, okay?

Adele released “Hello” as a single on Oct. 23, 2015. I get it.

However, I’ve always been slightly bothered by the song’s message. Let me preface this breakdown with the fact that I still love this song and when it comes on I will sing it loudly and proudly and do the thing divas do where they wag their index finger back and forth.

Now then, to the breakdown:

“Hello, it’s me. I was wondering if after all these years you’d like to meet to go over everything. They say that time’s supposed to heal ya, but I ain’t done much healing.”

In terms of plot, we get a few nuggets right off the bat. It’s been years since they’ve broken up and he has, presumably, finally gotten over her and moved on with his life. Hopefully, he’s found someone else. Also, she has the nerve to say, “It’s me.” Not, “Hey, it’s Adele. You know, from years ago.” It’s me.

 “Hello, can you hear me? I’m in California dreaming about who we used to be, when we were younger and free.”

I know that Adele’s breakout album, 21, has a lot to do with the breakup with her former boyfriend. However, now Adele is married to some guy named Simon and they have a child together. If you’re Simon and you’re hearing this, at some point are you going to say, “Hey Delly, I think we have a good thing going. Can we give it a rest on the stuff about how you keep longing for your ex after all these years? Maybe mix it up with a love song about your darling husband?”

“Hello from the other side, I must have called a thousand times, to tell you I’m sorry for everything that I’ve done.”

Okay, this is massively important. We can gather that the breakup in question was in a large part because of things that she did to him. She broke his heart. That’s important later. Also, if you’ve called somebody a thousand times and they haven’t picked up or called you back – Adele, you have plenty of money (CelebrityNetWorth has you at $185 million), how about you go and buy a clue? The guy doesn’t want to talk to you.

“But when I call, you never seem to be home.”

What does him being home or not have to do with it? Adele, are you calling a landline number?? That might be part of the problem.

“Hello from the outside. At least I can say that I’ve tried to tell you I’m sorry for breaking your heart, but it don’t matter, it clearly doesn’t tear you apart anymore.”

I love how she plays the, “Well, at least I tried. At least one of us actually tried to make things right between us.” You broke his heart, Adele! In true female fashion, she turns something horrible she did into him being the bad guy. Also, she seems legitimately upset that the whole thing doesn’t tear him apart anymore.

“Hello, how are you? It’s so typical of me to talk about myself. I’m sorry.”

Oh, Adele.

“I hope that you’re well.”

Well, that’s just a flat-out lie.

“Did you ever make it out of that town where nothing ever happens.”

Okay, it was bad enough that she popped up out of the blue and has been harassing him with phone calls, but now she shits on the place where he probably still lives?

“It’s no secret that the both of us are running out of time.”

Wait, why are you dragging him into this? The both of them are running out of time? No, Adele. He was doing just fine with his new girlfriend (or boyfriend or gender-neutralfriend, whatever the case) in his shitty little town before you pulled him back in. How dare you. You should be ashamed of yourself.

(Editor’s note: I was listening to “Hello” pretty much on a loop while writing this.)