Josh had never done something like this before.

He felt a little stupid – and a little bit in danger – but he was desperate. It was a few minutes before noon, which was the designated meeting time, and his was the only car on the roof level of the parking garage, which was the designated meeting place. Most of the late December snow had been pushed into piles in the corner. Josh looked over his shoulder to see if anybody was around. Not a soul. He glanced back at the clock: one minute before noon. 

Josh felt a buzz in the pocket of his pea coat, so he pulled out his phone. 

“???” his wife had texted. 

He put the phone back in his pocket and thought about leaving. This is stupid. Hovering his fingers over the keys in the ignition, he was about to start his car and drive away, but then he heard the squealing of tires spiraling up the parking garage ramp. 

The dealer was here. 

Josh looked at his clock: noon on the dot. A black Cadillac Escalade pulled onto the roof level, methodically worked its way toward Josh, and parked two spots to his right. After fifteen seconds, the Escalade suddenly rolled down its fully tinted window three inches. Josh waited for something else to happen before he pulled the keys out of the ignition and got out of his car. He stood by the driver’s side door of his BMW 3 Series and looked at the Escalade. 

Nothing. 

“Damn it,” Josh whispered, and he walked to the Escalade and spoke into the crack of the window. “VladTheImpaler72?”

“This is me,” said a raspy voice with a thick Eastern European accent, maybe Estonian. “You are Josh, yes?”

“Yeah.”

“This is good,” said the voice – maybe it was Bulgarian. 

The window rolled up. A few seconds passed, then VladTheImpaler72 opened his door an inch or two. After several seconds, the door opened a little more and then slammed shut. 

This is ridiculous, Josh thought.   

The Escalade’s trunk popped open and VladTheImpaler72 finally got out. He was in his mid-50s, a beer belly underneath a red Adidas tracksuit – the top zipper down eight inches to expose his bare chest. He wore aviator sunglasses to hide his eyes. He was balding and walked with a slight limp.

“How will this work?” Josh asked. 

Vlad didn’t respond. He limped to the trunk of his Escalade and pulled out a wooden TV tray table. He walked toward Josh and set up the table. 

“How’s this going to work?” Josh repeated. 

Vlad looked at Josh, took a deep breath, and walked back to his trunk. He pulled out a suitcase and laid it flat on the portable table. As he unzipped the suitcase, Josh cautiously stepped closer, and Vlad finally opened it.

“You want, yes?” asked Vlad, who was maybe Lithuanian actually. 

It looked authentic. Josh asked him if it was legit.

“This is real deal,” Vlad smiled. “You plan on pay with cash, check, or card? 

“You take card?”

“Yes, my friend. You pay with cash, check, or card?” he asked again.

“Well, I have the cash.”

“This is good,” Vlad nodded. 

Josh reached into the breast pocket of his pea coat and pulled out an envelope full of cash. He counted out twenty $100 bills and put them back into the envelope and reached it toward Vlad. 

“Thirty-five,” Vlad said. 

“I’m sorry?” Josh asked. 

“Thirty-five hundred,” repeated the man, who maybe sounded more Romanian come to think of it. 

“What do you mean, ‘Thirty-five hundred’?” 

“This cost thirty-five hundred dollar, please.”

“What? No, that’s bullshit. We agreed on two grand. Where’d thirty-five hundred come from?”

“I decide it cost thirty-five hundred now,” Vlad said, scratching the bottom of his stomach. “This is supply and the demand.” 

“What? I’m not paying that. I’m paying two grand. We agreed on two grand.”

Vlad closed the cover of the suitcase and quickly zipped it up. He lifted the suitcase off the table. 

“What are you doing?” Josh said. 

“You wasting my time, so I leave,” Vlad said, shaking his head in disgust. “This item very popular. I find somebody else who want.” 

Vlad turned to walk away, when Josh reached over, grabbed Vlad’s right shoulder, and aggressively spun him back around. Vlad garbled something profane in his native language, which sounded Polish. Or maybe Russian. 

“You listen to me,” Josh said, using his index and middle fingers to poke Vlad in the chest and then pointed to the suitcase. “I’m buying that for two grand.”

“No you aren’t, my friend,” Vlad responded.

Josh reached behind his back and pulled a hunting knife out of the waistband. He originally brought it for protection, but now Josh pointed it at Vlad’s chest. 

“You’re going to give that to me for two grand, like we agreed!” Josh said through his teeth, before looking back to make sure nobody was coming. 

Vlad was not nervous. He took off his sunglasses and cleaned them with the bottom of his jacket and put them back on. 

“You are done?” Vlad smiled. 

“What do you mean? No, I’m not done! You’re going to give that to me for two grand. A deal is a deal.”

“Let us, how you say, talk the turkey: First off, I will not give you this for the two Gs, my friend. Please do not think for one second that this scare me. You have knife pointed at me and instead of take for free, you want to give me two thousand dollar.”

“Well, that’s –” 

“You could have pay me thirty-five hundred, but you want to be tough guy like Dirty Harry. Like Rambo. Show you will kill me and spend rest of life in prison?”

Vlad made three clicking noises. 

“There are camera everywhere,” he told Josh. “We know you will not kill. So, put that away and let us finish with deal. Yes? You want or you do not want?”

Josh turned away and screamed into his coat sleeve. He walked around his car, put the knife into his waistband, and circled back to the table. 

“Fine,” Josh said. “Two grand in cash, and I’ll pay the other fifteen hundred on my card.”

“Oh, no,” Vlad smiled and shook his head. “It forty-five now.”

“Forty-five?” 

“Yes, after that little tantrum. How you say, little hissy fit. It forty-five now, please.”

“What? No,” Josh pleaded. 

“Yes. Forty-five hundred. You can take or you can leave.”

“You’re a real piece of garbage, you know that?”

“This is not good,” Vlad said in his probably Slovenian accent. “Price has hike to five Gs.”

Vlad held up five fingers and knew he had won. Josh dropped the envelope full of cash onto the portable table. With his right hand, he reached behind his back. Instead of grabbing the knife, he pulled out his wallet.

***

Josh was shaken awake. 

It was Nora. 

“Daddy, it’s time! It’s time!” the young girl cried. “Can I open them now?” 

Josh yawned and nodded. As Nora jumped off the bed, ran out of the room, and down the hallway, Josh closed his eyes again. He wanted to go back to sleep, but Susan pushed him and told him to get up. He can’t sleep in on Christmas morning. They both got out of bed – Josh put on his robe and his slippers – and they walked downstairs to see Nora was already in the middle of unwrapping it. 

“You got it!” she screamed in a high pitch, looking back at her parents. “A Manhattan Girl Doll!” 

She frantically unwrapped the rest of the package. She hugged it tightly, thanked her parents, and told them she loved the doll and promised to take care of her. 

Susan smiled and kissed Josh on the cheek. 

“Five grand,” he whispered to her. 

“Wait, what?” Susan’s smile disappeared. “Five grand? I thought it was two.”